Ask Alfonso: How Do You Handle Life’s Low Points?
Hi Alfonso,
I was doing very well. I was eating well and doing things a lot better – enough to lose 30 lbs.
I am now going backwards again and I do not want to. Not to make excuses, but I got hurt and the injury is lingering. Basically, I worked out, took my kids for a walk and I ended up carrying my 2-year-old daughter for most of it. Due to fatigue from my workout and postural issues from bad posture at a desk for years, my neck “went out”. I have had varying degrees of pain ever since.
At first, keeping a good diet was simple. Now, it is becoming very hard. I am craving high calorie sweet foods and candies that I shouldn’t. I am eating more than I should. I hate to say it, but the self-control I had seems to have taken a vacation.
What was easy is now hard. How do you cope with these low points? My life has changed – my wife is pregnant again unexpectedly, work is less than satisfying, and I am in mild pain. I have a kid (one of two current) who is developmentally delayed and at the same time I am trying to take a university course for career advancement.
Basically, I am mentally shot and I would like to know how you deal with the low points of life and the food cravings and “laziness” that comes with it. I really do not want to become obese again.
Trevor
Hey Trevor, how are you doing?
You know I wanted to answer your question and give you my thoughts because it’s really easy to talk about exercise, fitness and health and tell people they should exercise – heck even give them routines to follow. But the truly difficult part is overcoming ourselves and learning how to cope with emotions. This is probably the NUMBER ONE issue that stands in people’s way of achieving fitness success. Let me explain.
I can totally relate to you Trevor, as I’m sure many people who read this will as well. When you’re injured, hurt, in a lull or depressed, it becomes quite easy to get into a rut. But this is where self-reflection and awareness comes into play. At the tipping point, you MUST regain control of YOU. The only difference between a rut and a hole is the depth. If you let your emotions get the best of you, you may find yourself so far down that’ll it takes quite a while to get back to where you once were. And in some cases people unfortunately never make it back. We’ve all seen that.
I don’t want to over simplify or trivialize anyone’s issues, no matter how big or how small. But at the end Trevor – you are in charge. Say those three words to yourself all day long, everyday, wake up saying them and go to bed thinking them. I know it’s a given, of course you’re in charge right? But when you think about it, how many people are ‘conscious’ of their actions? Not many. They have no self -awareness or understand why they’re doing what they do. This is the key to overcoming obstacles and dealing with low points. Now keep mind I’m not a therapist or a trained mental practitioner. But I can certainly share my experience and state what I believe to be the obvious. You KNOW what you’re doing Trevor, you KNOW you’re eating too much, you KNOW what’s going on in your life and how you feel. So – take control.
I know this will sound crazy, but there is a sense of empowerment when you walk by desserts and bad foods and just keep going. The urge to eat sugar and junk is quite high, in fact recent studies suggest sugar is more addictive then cocaine. When you exhibit willpower and control over eating just a few cookies, cakes or fries, that is a huge testament to how strong your will and resolve is. And I also believe that type of discipline can and will translate into other areas of your life. We all go through ups and downs in life, it’s just part of being alive. Most of us will fluctuate in weight a bit here and there – that’s normal too. Life is unpredictable and often isn’t fair but I have a great strategy to share with you. As you know my site producer Richard is very influential in my life and has helped me to become a better person. At one point I was much like you and feeling the same way. Richard said this:
“Forget about what you can’t control and take charge of what you can”.
You can’t control that your back was hurt. You can’t control that you don’t like your job as much as you used to. You can’t control that your wife is unexpectedly pregnant. Those things are done and have happened whether you like it or not. BUT what you can control are your eating habits and activity level. And possibly even looking for a new job. Focus on what you can do instead of dwelling on what you can’t. Soon enough everything will seem to come full circle and you’ll see that life in general will be better. I know your back hurts, but you can’t use it as an excuse to nor be active. There’s plenty of exercise you can still do. You know you’re eating too much – take control and get your diet in check OK?
Listen I’m not trying to give you a pep talk, but rather just explain what I feel is the honest truth. Trevor if you don’t like something in your life then change it. If you don’t like how you behave then stop behaving that way. If you don’t like choices you’ve made, then don’t make them again. If you don’t want to be obese again, then don’t be!
YOU ARE IN CONTROL!
Good luck – and if you have a question – please just click here. I’d love to help you!
All information contained within this site, Angry Trainer Fitness.com, is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any health problem – nor is it intended to replace the advice of a physician. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this website. Always consult your physician or qualified health professional on any matters regarding your health or on any opinions expressed within this website. Please see your physician before changing your diet, starting an exercise program, or taking any supplements of any kind.
feeling depressed, working out with an injury, in a rut, how to overcome stress, coping with stress, exercise and motivation, working out when depressed
| Print article | This entry was posted by Alfonso on October 26, 2012 at 12:05 pm, and is filed under ASK ALFONSO. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |
























about 6 months ago
I love what you are writing but can I just add something? It may not be the most American thing, but you can also learn to appreciate your more melancholy days. I know it sounds like irony now, but they just show that you are capable of feeling better and that you have a good life because you already felt better than this and will probably do so again. So, give yourself a break, take a breath, and then follow the above, I think Alfonso has written a true thing there
about 6 months ago
Thank you Trevor and thank you Angry Trainer, because this is exactly what I needed to read today.
about 6 months ago
Just to follow up on my earlier question. My ACL ligament on my left leg is completely torn off – it will be reconstructed in December and I cannot run or cycle for 3 months and then only mild and moderate cycling.
Not sure if you have time to answer but anything would be appreciated.
about 6 months ago
I’m in a rut right now as well, but not because I have so much to do, it’s because I have so little to do. I work Saturdays and Sundays, but during the week I only have to be at university for 2 hours a day. The rest of the time I mostly spend watching stuff on youtube, smoking (NOT weed, but still feeling incredibly bad about it
) and eating rubbish. That might sound great for some people, but it’s completely killing my motivation to do anything at all… I have no idea how to start again. The last time I was in a situation like this I put on lots of weight and it took me a full year to “recover” from it
about 6 months ago
I’m with you Anna. My job just went from full time to part time. It gives me way too much time to indulge in time wasting activities as I flit between distractions. I found that the best way to cope with it is to maintain a schedule as if I was working every day — get up early, work out, then if I’m not working I find something productive to do, like rake the yard or clean out the flower beds or something. Keep yourself occupied doing constructive things to do, rather than indulging in your addictions like smoking and YouTube. Last time I was unemployed, I found that I have an amazing capacity for alcohol consumption, which is unhealthy and expensive. I quit using tobacco years ago, and it was a b*tch. Keeping my head out of the bottle is worse. I would suggest you keep a diary — I use a steno pad — write down everything you eat & drink on one side, write down your daily workout on the other. It raises your awareness of just how much you’re consuming and what you’re doing to burn it off. Then get started on that book you always wanted to write.