Infomercial Insanity: The Health Bow

It’s that time of the week again – time for some more Infomercial Insanity.

I really love writing these posts as I have a real love / hate relationship with many of these products. Some truly crack me up, but on the flip side some also really piss me off. Who knows when the insanity is going to end!

Last time around I reviewed The Total Gym which I thought was okay, but not really necessary. I generally like to give consumers the benefit of the doubt, but when I see products like the Health Bow, I do question what part of the brain people think with when they buy one!

By the way, I should also mention that there is another product called the Steel Bow, made by a different company, but which is virtually the same. This posting will serve as a review for both.

Product Pitch

The Health Bow doesn’t have a celebrity frontman like Chuck Norris or Kim Kardashian but instead uses trainer Clark Bartram to plug the product. If you’ve followed fitness throughout the years, you’ll recognize Clark as a bodybuilder who used to promote EAS products and has graced many muscle magazine covers. In the product video, he’s labeled “America’s Most Trusted Personal Trainer” – hmm, more on that later.

Clark tells us, “this little piece of equipment can really transform your appearance, energize your body, and will give you the spirit to move through life with agility, grace and confidence”. Wow that’s quite a mouthful – did you get all of that?

The commercial also claims that use of the Health Bow is as effective as any gym membership or piece of bulky fitness equipment. It also features patented Dynamic Force Resistance Fiberglass Power Rods, and comes with a door anchor that allows you to perform 50 life – enhancing exercises. Wait it get’s better! Use of the Health Bow will also boost your fitness potential by 200%! Just one question - how do you boost fitness potential? What is that exactly?

The Bow comes with 3 levels of rods, an extension band to increase your range of motion, a convenient storage bag, a door strap, and Clark’s personal training and motivational video. It retains for $24.99 – $34.99 in various online stores.

Angry Trainer Says:

America’s Most Trusted Personal Trainer huh? Really Clark? My ass! Clark says he has 20 years in the fitness industry and wouldn’t put his name on a product that doesn’t work. Right! Keep in mind that this is man who has built his body using all that expensive gym equipment, bodybuilding exercises, and I’m sure to this day has a gym membership!

I have such distain for Clark’s endorsement, that I’ll stop talking about him. Now onto the actually product itself. Robin Hood must have been jacked from using his bow so often! Seriously, this is nothing more than a double sided BOW! In the video, the exercises look awkward and the models aren’t using the best form either. Some of the exercises shown, which claim to work a particular muscle, were actually working an entirely different area.

I haven’t used a Health Bow, and don’t plan to, but the resistance it provides is very similar to regular old resistance bands. As you pull and stretch the bow, the resistance grows, just like pulling back an arrow. But the bow provides a limited range of movement and is no substitute for a fully stocked gym. You can clearly see part of the bow hits the model’s underarm as she moves through an exercise. If you watch the video, at the very end a user who claims to have lost 20 lbs. says clearly and distinctly – “if you follow the diet plan”. So once again, you won’t lose weight due to using the bow, but from following the diet.

I honestly don’t get it! What’s so hard about buying a set of weights, bands or medicine balls and following a tried and true program that will bring real results? That’s a much smarter choice. Wake Up People!

And by the way, I’m America’s Most Trusted Personal Trainer! I’ll never tell you or suggest anything to you that I don’t believe in my soul to be good for you.